Pappa wants mamma naked
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
