He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My penis needs a shock collar
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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