Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My breasts were aching with rage.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
