He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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