So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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