I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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