So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
