And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
