I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
