just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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