I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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