those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
