meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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