I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
