no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
