just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
