the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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