I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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