CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
