There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
