I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
