Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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