My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
So many bounce houses so little time
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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