I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
