dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
