It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
