no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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