i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
