Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
