So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
