she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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