Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
The ass gains better be worth it
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