Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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