well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
