Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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