i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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