i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
