i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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