The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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