I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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