I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
