i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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