come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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