Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
