you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize