I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We are two peas in an std pod
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
