he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
