that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just blew my weed a kiss
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
