I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
What a dumb baby whore.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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