i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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