You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
