I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
