I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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