the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
