Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
