Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
