my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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