I am puke
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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