is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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