This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
