Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
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