I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
