Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
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I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
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You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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